Psychology of Actions: How an Introvert Adapts Identities to Handle Social Interactions
Your identity isn't fixed. Use wisely.
Foreword
In my previous article in the Psychology of Actions series, “Identity in Context,” I talked about how our identity shifts depending on where we are and who we’re with. Be it the expectations that come with our social roles or just the little nudges from our surroundings, our Identity isn’t set in stone—it shifts as the context shifts. Identity adapts to the moment, sometimes on purpose and sometimes just by pure instincts.
Today, I’m excited to share a guest post that takes this idea a step further, diving into the ups and downs of everyday interactions. This post comes from one of the most talented and wonderful writers I’ve encountered on Substack,
. Her work really resonates with anyone looking to build a stronger inner self and face down fears and shyness. Her publication, , is full of practical advice for strengthening that inner voice.In this post,
shares her personal journey of learning to embrace different sides of herself in a new workplace. She challenges the idea that being an "Introvert" has to mean exclusively just one thing. She offers a refreshingly new perspective on how we can adjust and choose to show a different side of ourselves without feeling like we’re losing our authenticity in the process.If “Identity in Context” helped us see how the context shapes who we are, this article is all about putting that understanding into action. It’s about knowing which version of yourself to choose and bring to the surface.
I hope you find her insights as valuable as I did. Let’s jump in!
Guest Post by
When it comes to communicating with others in public spaces, I tend to transform into an armadillo, curling into a ball.
I never start a conversation first. It’s not me trying to be cool—I just don’t know what to say. On my first day at work, I went straight to my desk and buried myself in tasks. I expected the staff to reach out to me since I was new, but no one did.
That not-so-friendly identity caused me trouble. My colleagues wouldn’t cooperate or accept my proposals, even though they were good for the work—simply because I didn’t talk much.
It took me half a year before things started running smoothly. But when I had to welcome a new colleague, I finally saw the root of my problem.
The new colleague struggled to express his thoughts and concerns. I tried to reach out, hoping to understand what challenges he was facing, but he kept avoiding me. Without proper communication, we couldn't cooperate well. And deadlines slipped while tasks piled up unfinished.
That’s when I realized the importance of connection. When people don’t talk, bonds don’t form.
The introverted mindset
In fact, similar situations often happen to those who identify as introverts.
But it’s not that being introverted causes difficulties—it’s the mindset of what people think introverts should be like. Many believe that introversion means being shy or socially withdrawn. Which can create unnecessary challenges at work and in life.
Some even use “introversion” as a label that closes doors to the outside world.
I’ve seen this belief spread in many forms. People become so attached to their introverted identity that they use it as an excuse:
Not being polite on a first date? “I’m just introverted.”
Not participating in teamwork? “Introverted.”
Not introducing yourself at a new workplace? (Yeah, that was me.) “Introverted.”
This mindset holds people back.
It’s true that introverts may not need a wide circle of connections—they value solitude and inner peace. But in situations where teamwork or helping others is essential—like being a doctor or teacher—sticking too closely to an introverted persona can make things much harder.
A glance at the identity
The belief that introverts shouldn’t talk much or engage socially isn’t entirely true. If we view ourselves through the lens of identity, it’s not just about being introverted or extroverted—it’s about the roles we play.
Identity is a mix of your personality traits, your roles, and your beliefs. It reflects how you see yourself—based on your past, present, and future.
For example, I didn’t do well in school, so I labeled myself a bad student. Now, I identify as a writer, and in the future, I aim to become a successful one. :)
In Psychology of Actions: Understanding Identity by Nik Pathran, people are said to have up to ten sub-categories of personal identity. Here are some examples:
With patients, you’re a doctor.
Writing your journal, you’re honest.
With your parents, you’re their good child.
Setting goals, you’re someone striving for success.
You play different roles in various contexts, often without realizing it.
So, why not intentionally switch identities to make daily interactions easier?
The idea
We switch identities all the time.
We feel stressed at work, and our faces wrinkle like a dried prune. But when we go on holiday, we transform into carefree little birds, flying and singing without a worry.
Being flexible in how you present yourself socially doesn’t mean losing who you are—it’s about adapting while staying authentic.
You might think switching roles means pretending or wearing a mask. But that’s not the case—your identities are always with you. You just need to know which one to bring forward in each situation.
By doing this, you’ll find it easier to adapt to your environment without feeling guilty about not being yourself.
It’s a simple concept, but it takes time to practice. Every new idea needs time to become second nature, right?
Let me show you how.
Steps to switch identities
1. Gather information and understand the environment.
This first step is important because incorrect data can lead to misapplication.
Take time to observe and listen to people around you.
Determine whether the situation is formal or informal, the atmosphere is casual or professional, and whether the tone is friendly or serious.
The more information you collect, the more effectively you can apply this technique.
2. Choose an identity to adopt based on the social context.
Now, it’s time to decide which identity fits the situation.
Look through your personal "identity library." You may find a patient friend, a professional nurse, an obedient daughter, a strict sister, or a talented artist.
Reflect on your past experiences and current roles—you’ll be surprised by how many versions of yourself exist.
3. Put on the chosen identity to meet the social demands.
Finally, pick the identity that best fits the situation.
Let’s say you’re welcoming a new colleague who’s older than you, observe their behavior:
If they’re friendly and easygoing, you can adopt the role of a friend.
If they seem strict and serious, introduce your professional side.
If they treat you with disrespect, show them your colder traits.
Final thought
The goal is to make everyday interactions smoother and less stressful. You can release the burden of feeling insecure about expressing yourself—maybe all it takes is playing the right role in the right situation.
By improving how you connect with others, you’ll communicate in ways that feel natural and comfortable. People will sense that energy. It gives others the chance to understand you better and build stronger relationships.
Think of yourself as a chameleon—it changes its color to adapt to its surroundings, but it never loses its essence. Adapting your identity in different contexts doesn't mean losing who you are. It simply means knowing how to show the right side of yourself at the right time.
Until next time, keep growing. 🌿
 | A guest post by
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It's so true our identity shift a lots depending on circumstances, and that should be viewed as normal. We play so many roles in our lives. You would not speak to your mum like you speak to your boss right? (unless she's also your boss)