Psychology of Actions: How Identity Forms Without You Realizing It
The hidden loops that shape and reinforce your identity without you even noticing it.
In the previous articles on Idenity (linked here), I explored how our Identity is shaped by our surroundings, contexts, and social situations. Here are those articles.
Identity When Contexts Collapse
Building on these ideas, this article dives deeper into how our Identity forms and reinforces itself, often without much conscious thought or effort, thanks to the reliable work of System 1.
You can check out more about System 1 and System 2 thinking in this article:
System 1 and System 2 Thinking
Introduction
The other day my mother was conversing with one of my aunts over the phone. All of a sudden, handing me the phone she said, "Your aunt wants to talk to you."
"Hey handsome, how are you doing?" came the voice from the other end of the phone. Hearing the word "handsome," I wasn’t exactly taken aback. Well, for a start, I do think I'm handsome :). But, hearing it from my aunt, I felt I was in uncharted territory.
I never had this sort of rapport with her, previously. You know, the kind where you joke and pull each other's leg. So, what did I do? I reached for an Identity I usually don in unfamiliar situations. My demeanor became formal, along with my voice.
Moments like these remind us of how fluid our Identities can be, unconsciously adjusting to fit the context we’re in. But how do these identity traits—these ways of acting and responding—take root in the first place? In this post, I'll dive into how our identity is formed and reinforced. We'll explore the hidden loops shaping our identities based on the situations we find ourselves in.
A note for the evolutionary biologist in you :) : Our identity is partially determined by certain genetic tendencies. But, they are usually out of our influence or control. So, I won't be stressing that part here.
Identity Formation Loop: How Identity Begins
The journey of identity formation begins with a simple, passive process. It's like picking up souvenirs along the different stops on the road. But, instead of souvenirs, you are picking up traits (like being polite, responsible, etc) based on the context you are in. Let's walk through the stages of the Identity Formation Loop.
Stage 1: Observation in Contexts
Picture yourself as a kid, sitting in an extended family dinner. It's more than likely that you have had this kind of experience in your childhood. You notice what sort of behavior is appreciated or tolerated and what is not. For instance, a light humorous tone is more than appreciated and a temper tantrum is, obviously, not.
Your brain, specifically your System 1—your mind’s autopilot—passively notices these cues. It soaks up the patterns in each new context. You're not intentionally or consciously deciding to be "calm" or "polite"—System 1 just notes that these behaviors seem to fit or pass the test of expectations in the context. And, just like that early seeds of specific traits are planted.
Stage 2: Absorption of Feedback
Next up is feedback. Every time someone compliments or criticizes you, System 1 takes notes. Praise for being "organized" at school or "polite and friendly" with relatives starts to add up, while criticism subtly steers you to avoid certain behaviors.
System 1 processes this feedback automatically, without much analysis by System 2, and incorporates it into your self-view. Over time, these early identity impressions solidify.
Stage 3: Emotional Encoding of Feedback
The feedback we receive, be it positive or negative, evokes emotions in us. System 1 processes this emotional response and builds a link between the emotion and the behavior. Positive or neutral emotions signal that the behavior is desirable or passable in that context, while negative emotions, like embarrassment, signal behavior to avoid.
If a teacher praises a child for "sharing" for the first time, the child wouldn't consciously label themself as "generous." But, System 1 will process the reward and form an automatic link. And, if the teacher praises the child again similarly in the future, the child's generosity trait would be reinforced.
System 1 seeks emotional consistency. You might be wondering why. Well, because consistent emotions in specific contexts stabilize the identity traits, making their invocation natural and predictable. So, emotions give the feedback that extra "weight," making System 1 more likely to remember and repeat (or avoid) the behavior linked to feelings.
Stage 4: Initial Role Association
As you grow, the traits eventually evolve into roles. This is the stage where you start associating the traits with certain roles. The roles are more than just labels; they are context-specific anchors. Although those roles don’t define you completely, they become reliable cues for System 1, which automatically ‘selects’ them in familiar settings.
For instance, over time, you don’t just remain the child who helps the mother occasionally, you're becoming that "helpful" child.
Stage 5: Early Adoption into Self-Concept
Finally, System 1 integrates the traits in your self-concept. Now, you're not just "acting" politely in certain contexts— you are polite. These traits are now beginning to be embedded in System 1. They are in the early stages of becoming automatic responses, ready to activate without a second thought.
These five Identity Formation Loop stages lay the groundwork for long-term identities. By this stage, although identity traits have taken root, reinforcement through repeated application in specific contexts will help these traits become second nature. So, next up is the Reinforcement Loop of Identity.
Identity Reinforcement Loop: How Identity Gets Ingrained
Once initial identity traits have been adopted, they go through the reinforcement process. The Identity Reinforcement Loop unpacks how the reinforcement unfolds and how the traits we develop become deeply embedded in our System 1. In the reinforcement process, every stage has an emotional component to it as well. Let's dive in.
Stage 1: Activation in Specific Contexts
Each time you enter a familiar setting, certain identity traits kick in. When you walk into work, suddenly you are that "leader" who makes "smart" and "responsible" decisions. With friends, you're that "goofball" who comes up with "funny" banter.
System 1's job is to respond to contextual cues or triggers, automatically activating the identity traits that best fit the situation. It’s kind of like each context has a cue card, and System 1 flips to the right page.
Emotional Component: Emotions in this stage help provide consistency in responses of System 1. Here, emotions act as initial responses that validate or motivate traits in each setting, prompting System 1 to “activate” the relevant trait consistently.
Stage 2: Positive and Negative Feedback Loops
Feedback reinforces or tweaks the traits. Praise further embeds traits into System 1, while criticism may challenge or modify them. System 1 integrates the feedback as confirmation (if positive), or as a prompt for adjustment (if negative).
Emotional Component: Emotions are strongest here. They give feedback weight, confirming System 1's choices in case of positive feedback. Negative feedback evokes emotions of embarrassment, guilt, or shame that help System 1 steer away from traits that don't align with the desired identity.
Stage 3: Repeated Contextual Application
The more you activate certain identity traits in specific contexts, the stronger they get. If you behave "boldly" at work, or "responsibly" as a child, System 1 solidifies that trait making it habitual.
Emotional Component: Emotions give each repeated action a "satisfaction" signal. It affirms System 1's responses over time. If you are repeatedly praised for being a "good listener" by your friends, System 1 associates relevant emotions with it. Whenever similar contexts arise, the same emotions are triggered. This, in turn, leads System 1 to activate the same "good listener" trait.
Stage 4: Internalization as Fixed Identity Traits
After enough reinforcement, the identity traits are no longer just responses. They become integral to who you are, sort of like your instincts. System 1 has internalized the identity traits as core identity elements, activating them effortlessly and without much thought. But, I'm afraid there is no bright line or tipping point on the spectrum that tells you a certain trait has been internalized.
Emotional Component: System 1 now associates emotions (like confidence, calm, and composed) with specific traits. System 1 also ensures those emotions are cued without hesitation. At this point, System 1 has become adept at doing the heavy lifting and keeping our identities stable.
Concluding Thoughts: From Automatic Responses to Intentional Shaping
After unpacking this fascinating journey, you now know how Identity forms and reinforces. Each trait you pick up along the way is influenced by cues, feedback, and emotions. Our System 1 thinking—the part of us that operates automatically, effortlessly, and instinctively—stores the identity traits. System 1 lets us shift smoothly between identities in different contexts, often without a second thought.
But, there is a twist: while System 1 is busy building and reinforcing our Identity, System 2—the more conscious, logical, and deliberate part of us—can step in too. Knowing how our identities are shaped—via the Identity Formation and Reinforcement Loops—allows us to change them if we choose to. Knowing the loops is the first step in this process. And, if we intend, our System 2 can reshape System 1's responses, replacing automatic behavior with new, more desired ones.
So whether you're "the life of the party" with friends, the "phenomenal, inspiring leader" at work, or anything in between, remember: at the end of the day, your identity is yours to shape.
That’s all for this week. If you like this article, please share it. And, if you have not subscribed yet, please do and join me on this fascinating journey of intentional change.
Stay genuine! Stay authentic!
Nik Pathran
PS: I appreciate you reading this. Thanks to the new subscribers!