Intentional Identity Design: Exploring Pillar 1 - Defining Elements of Identity
Understanding Where Your Identity Comes From.
Most people inherit a self. Few design one.
We were given a name. A background story. A set of values to go along with it. Our culture and childhood experiences shaped us, as did the contexts and environments we navigated.
Imagine unpacking this Identity. What will you find? Probably, an absolute love for certain aspects of it. Like your traditions and where you come from. But, you'd also find certain elements that, in hindsight, you might want to change. And, this article is an exploration of precisely that.
Our Identity isn't a fixed structure. It's a system.
And like any system, it can be reworked — intentionally, purposefully, and in alignment with who you want to become.
From inherited identity to intentional identity.
From unconsciously playing a role… to consciously writing your own.
In the previous article— Intentional Identity Design: A Framework to Map the Inner World— we stared into the fascinating, sometimes bewildering, inner world of "Who Am I?" I introduced the idea of a map – the Intentional Identity Design Framework (IIDF) – to help us navigate this inner world.
We discussed the need for this well-defined Identity framework to move beyond guesswork and those pesky automatic System 1 (the fast, automatic part of our mind) reactions that often run the show.
For reference, here is what this framework looks like:
In this article, we're unpacking the first part of this framework. We're zooming in on Pillar 1: Defining Elements of Identity. You can think of this as carving out the blueprint of who you consciously or maybe unconsciously believe yourself to be, and who you aspire to become. Let's dive in.
Pillar 1: The Conscious "Who Am I?" – Inherited or Designed
So, what exactly is this Pillar 1? Think of this as the layer holding the blueprint that defines your identity – the one you might have unconsciously adopted and, more importantly, the one you might intentionally choose to design.
Pillar 1 has the elements that we can use to define us. It’s our concept of the self, the social roles we play, our Identity in contexts, the values we say guide us, the goals we aim for, and the stories we tell ourselves.
Crucially, understanding Pillar 1 can help us in 2 ways:
Unpack Current Identity: Many of these elements (roles, narratives, maybe even stated values) have been absorbed by our System 1 (the fast, automatic part of our mind) over time, perhaps without deep System 2 (the deliberate, analytical part of our brain) scrutiny, becoming part of our default way of seeing ourselves. This is the identity we largely operate from automatically day to day.
Design Intentional Identity: Pillar 1 also holds our aspirations and deeper desires for who we want to become. The critical step is to bring them into focus and engage our System 2 thinking to define an Identity for ourselves that would be consistent with those deeper desires and aspirations. This will, in turn, force us to characterize the values we truly want to embody, the self-image we want to cultivate, and the narratives we want to live by.
Understanding the current Identity, and how we can define Intentional Identity via Pillar 1 is the pivotal first step in designing the identity we want. Why? Because it allows us to see the starting point and define the destination for intentional change. It highlights the potential gap between the identity we currently define ourselves by and the one we aspire to create.
Now, let's explore the specific types of elements we find within this crucial defining layer.
Exploring the Defining Elements of Pillar 1
By now, you must have a bit of an inkling. Pillar 1 is indeed a collection of different types of elements that together form our self-concept.
But, before we examine them, let's set a ground rule here. We're going to explore the elements with the idea of uncovering your current identity. This will help you establish where you are right now. Because once you know this, you can see the gap between the starting point and where you want to go. So, let's begin:
Deeper Desires & Aspirations:
These are your goals, ambitions, and desires – what you're actively working towards or wishing for in your career, relationships, health, outward appearance, place where you want to live, or personal or spiritual growth.
For instance, "I want to get promoted," "I aspire to be a more patient parent," and "I want to run a marathon."
Question to reflect on: What's one major aspiration currently at the very top of your mind? Are you actively pursuing it?
Big picture connection: This will be the starting point. Everything else will follow from here. You will evaluate your aspirations and desires and define the identity you are actively pursuing to fulfill them. (I know you're not actually sure if you are actively pursuing that identity, but trust me. You really are. But, most likely, unconsciously. The idea here is to bring it into focus.) It could be becoming "a better parent," "a more inspiring teacher," or "a more resilient person."
Contexts & Roles:
I explored contexts and roles in depth in my article— Identity in Context. These are the hats we wear – parent, employee, friend, sibling, leader, student, child, etc. – and the specific situations or environments where we wear them. Each context and role often comes with unwritten rules and expectations for behavior.
For instance, you might act more authoritatively as a team leader in an office meeting context whereas with friends you'd avoid putting on a facade.
Question to reflect on: What are 2-3 key roles you actively play right now? How do you typically behave in these roles?
Big picture connection: Although I have included context and roles in Pillar 1: Defining Elements of Identity, our behavior in these roles and contexts is usually governed by automatic System 1 responses stemming from core beliefs, mindset, etc. that are part of Pillar 2: Inner Foundation of Identity. We will explore that in the next article.
Core Values:
These are the principles you consciously identify with and "claim" (air quotes for emphasis :)) guide your behavior – things like honesty, creativity, security, adventure, and compassion. They represent your ideal ethical or guiding compass.
For instance, you might state "Family First" or "Integrity" as a core value.
Question to reflect on: What 1-2 principles do you currently believe are most important in guiding your choices? Can you recall a recent situation where this value was tested?"
Big picture connection: These often represent our chosen System 2 values, but our automatic System 1 reactions in the heat of the moment might sometimes contradict them, revealing a gap we'll explore later.
Personality Traits:
These are the relatively stable characteristics you (or others) use to describe your typical way of being – labels like introverted, extroverted, conscientious, agreeable, adventurous, cautious, etc.
For instance, statements like "I'm generally pretty organized," or "I'm definitely an introvert."
Question to reflect on: What are 2-3 traits you’d typically use to describe your personality?
Big picture connection: Often, it's not the trait itself that limits us, but the limiting beliefs we hold about it (part of Pillar 2: Inner Foundation), likely formed via Formation and Reinforcement Loops, e.g., believing "Introverts can't be good leaders.”
Dominant Narratives & Labels:
These are the recurring stories and labels you apply to yourself, often based on past experiences or ingrained beliefs. They powerfully shape how you interpret events and predict your future.
For instance, "I'm a survivor," "I always figure things out," "I'm just not good with money," "I'm the reliable one."
Question to reflect on: What's one recurring story or label you frequently apply to yourself?
Big picture connection: These narratives function like powerful mental loops. FoRC analysis is perfectly designed to unpack their Formation (where did the story start?) and Reinforcement (what keeps it going?).
Self-Image:
This is your subjective, internal picture or feeling about yourself right now. It’s how you see yourself deep down – capable, inadequate, resilient, broken, confident, struggling, evolving.
For instance, feeling generally competent vs. feeling like you're constantly messing up.
Question to reflect on: Right now, what’s one core feeling or image you have about yourself?
Big picture connection: This image is often deeply ingrained and feels 'true'. Understanding how it was formed (past experiences, feedback) and reinforced daily (self-talk, interpretations) is crucial for change, making it a prime candidate for FoRC analysis later on.
Social & Group Identifiers:
It's the sense of belonging derived from membership in various groups – cultural, ethnic, national, professional, religious/spiritual, political, hobby-based, etc.
For instance, Identifying as Canadian, an engineer, a knitter, a member of a specific online community.
Question to reflect on: What are 1-2 important groups you feel you belong to?
Big picture connection: These affiliations often instill certain beliefs or automatic System 1 assumptions through social conditioning – a key aspect of FoRC's 'Formation' process.
Externally Driven Why:
The outward-focused motivations behind your goals and desired identity – the specific results, impacts, recognition, or achievements you seek in the world.
For instance, wanting to earn a certain income, achieve industry recognition, help solve a specific problem for others.
Question to reflect on: What external outcome or impact is a major driver for one of your aspirations?
Big picture connection: It's useful to examine if this external 'Why' truly aligns with your deeper, intrinsic 'Core Why' (Pillar 2), or if it might be a System 1 compensation for an underlying insecurity (Dynamic Layer: Underlying Force).
Why Mapping Pillar 1 Matters: Clarity Creates Choice
A true framework doesn’t tell you what to think. It shows you how to evolve.
Phew! Those were a lot of elements, right? Over time, these elements of Pillar 1 have become part of our System 1 thinking (the fast, automatic part of our mind). And when the elements were being absorbed by our System 1, most of the time, our System 2 thinking (the deliberate, analytical part of our brain) gave it its tacit approval. We didn't fully engage System 2 to think through all the pros and cons of absorbing elements as it is.
But imagine a world in which you do fully engage your System 2. Then, Pillar 1 becomes the conscious description, the intended design – about who we should or want to be. Consciously mapping out Pillar 1 elements, even roughly, does a few crucial things:
Brings Clarity: It makes the implicit explicit. You start seeing the conscious blueprint you're operating from.
Reveals Gaps & Conflicts: Laying these elements side-by-side often highlights inconsistencies. Maybe you aspire to be a bold leader, but your Self-Image is "timid," and your dominant Narrative is "I shouldn't rock the boat." Spotting these gaps is a major early step.
Sets the Target: Knowing your desired blueprint (Pillar 1 elements) gives you a clear target. It defines what you're aiming for when you start applying System 2 intentionally to override those conflicting System 1 patterns.
Connecting Pillar 1 to the Bigger Picture
Remember, Pillar 1 doesn't exist in a vacuum. It's influenced by, and influences, the other parts of the Intentional Identity Design Framework:
Pillar 2 (Inner Foundation): This is where our major System 1 programming lives. Beliefs and mindsets here often dictate why you have a certain Self-Image or Narrative in Pillar 1, sometimes clashing with your Stated Values. The FoRC analysis framework helps us dig into this layer.
Pillar 3 (Identity in Action): This shows the reality. Do your System 1 behaviors, in actual reality, align with your Pillar 1 definitions? Intentional Response Theory (IRT) is the tool we can use to practice new, aligned System 2 behaviors here.
Dynamic Layer: Underlying Forces Influencing Identity: Underlying factors like Ego or Fear (classic System 1 trigger) or Social Conditioning can powerfully shape what ends up in your Pillar 1 blueprint – influencing your Aspirations, Self-Image, and Narratives.
Painting this big picture isn't about deep analysis yet; it's about kickstarting that System 2 awareness of the elements defining your conscious identity landscape. We are still taking those early steps. :)
Wrapping Up & What's Next: Digging Deeper
So, that's Pillar 1 – the collection of conscious elements we use to define ourselves and set our direction. Getting clear on this "blueprint" is Step One in intentionally designing our identity. It shows us what we're working with on the surface.
But as I've hinted, what's on the blueprint doesn't always match the building's foundation or how it behaves in a storm.
In the next article, we dive into Pillar 2: The Inner Foundation of Identity. This is where things get really interesting, exploring the deep System 1 programming, the core beliefs, and the automatic mindsets that truly drive our reactions and often explain the frustrating gap between who we want to be (Pillar 1: Defining Elements of Identity) and how we sometimes act (Pillar 3: Identity in Action).
That’s all for this week. If this exploration resonates, feel free to share! And if you haven’t subscribed yet, come join the journey.
Stay genuine! Stay authentic!
Nik Pathran
PS: I appreciate you reading. Thanks to the new subscribers!
Very interesting read..
I will find time to read the others in the series
Thank you 🙏
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